Here are some of those truths that are simple; yet challenging that I long to have impede my heart over and over again. It is comforting to know these truths; even though I know it is easy for me to walk in doubt in these areas. Comfort comes knowing that these truths are mine; yet they are still being fought for. It’s a strange paradox.
- Rather than trying to write God into our stories, we would be wiser to sit patiently with our Father and let him tell us his.
- As he tells us his story; we must be willing to let go of the stories we’ve told to make sense of our lives. We must let his story rewrite ours and sweep us up into something much greater than ourselves.
Those two statements are huge for me right now. I am a dreamer and I fear that I dream too big- that the visions, hopes and expectations for what could come out of life are too overwhelming. I can see things and form a plan within seconds. I take action and run full force exhausting myself to assure efficiency and success.
Here’s the deal. My dreams are not too big. I am not in control. God’s dreams, visions and plans for my life (and those around me that I want to affect) are bigger and more perfect than I could ever imagine. Where anxiety comes in is when I try to plan out the details and write my own story; or even worse, the story for those around me.
I can thank the Lord for the dreams but my prayer is that my hand would be open and hold loosely these things. Even my best dream is limiting to God and what he has for me. I can hold firm to what God has revealed to me but with an open mind and heart with an understanding that I don’t know how these dreams, visions and hopes translate into real life. Only God knows what the interpretation of the promises looks like. God is going to keep his word; I can stand on that. The details are not mine to be had.
My initial response is to discipline myself and run far away from the dreams, hopes and visions. Intuitively I want to hid my feelings and suppress what I believe God has revealed to me. But, God doesn’t want that either. He is a Father that wants me to sit at his feet and dream with him. Tell him my thoughts. Paint pictures with him. Draw blue prints. He loves to hear my voice. He thinks I am precious, endearing and he never grows weary of my zeal. We can day dream together; it can be so intimate.
I was wondering how this looked practically. My wise friend suggested that if my day dreaming prevents me from holding my hands open and causes anxiety and worry, that is a place to realize I have stopped believing God for his control and plan. It is ok to be excited and believe God for things; but when it draws me away from Him it is not what was intended to be. But, when I can do these things with him and my thoughts, beliefs, hopes and expectations are stirred towards him; my faith increases, there is no adjustment that needs to be made; revel all the more! Sin is in my midst when I become obsessive and I hear lies that say “God will never give you/open doors/equip you for something this fantastic.”
It can be dangerous to constantly project yourself into a future fantasy world. It’s a strange tension to balance. Future is never your current reality. Security and safety is found when hoping is for God and his kingdom so that when the future reality and bad things happen, we know that it is still good and right because God always bestows his best and sanctification is his will. Practically this can play itself out if you are a woman faced with infertility, a single in the midst of painful waiting, a marriage that feels like it was more work than intended to be, losing a job in a moments notice, walking through abuse and addiction…name your suffering and place it here. Name the dream, vision and hope you had that you don’t see fulfilled and think about God’s best alongside the process of being made like Christ. At the end of the day I can rest in these two truths (used in the children’s ministry at my church):
- God is Wise and knows what is best.
- God is Generous and gives what is best.
- God is loving and does what is best.
- God IS what is best.
I find myself doubting these things when I try to plan out the details of the hopes, dreams and visions God has given me. It’s ok to have faith for the BIG things; but it is also best that I pray that God would give me a contentment for the big things that are not happening.
The best place to be is believing God for the fulfillment of his promises but not trying to write the story!