Over the past 16 weeks I have spent a huge majority of my time in a discipleship and reconciliation ministry at my church. The ministry is called Redeeming Recovery. It is similar to 12 step programs like AA or Celebrate Recovery. The thing I love about this ministry is that my church has intentionally reformatted the steps to bring about biblical principles and theology behind each traditional step. They call it discipleship on steroids; and that is exactly how it felt. Apparently the traditional steps take a year…we fit them into four months! REDICULOUS. The days were long and tedious. I spent day after day working through scripture and homework. Hours spent with my sponsor walking through some of my darkest sin. Pursued obedience in making things right I had made wrong. Strangely enough, it was such a wonderful season the Lord brought me through. It is a lifelong method of taking a constant inventory of my life; allowing for the Spirit to convict me, the Lord to woo and sanctify me and to humbly realize the grace through Jesus Christ I receive and the least bit deserve.
To recap the words of my small group leader it was a very long season of taking a look at my past experiences, my present habits, my iniquities and my heart. I learned what centering my life on the Lord looks like and how He is the only one that will satisfy my pangs for something more. I learned about real repentance and restitution, and walked out in reconciliation with those that I have harmed. However, as most things in the Christian walk, this is only one portion of my sanctification. I am hoping the things I have learned are a part of my lifestyle, so that am consistently walking in the Light.
This process has really helped me look at my heart. I have such a wonderful realization of what the Gospel, who I am by nature and the ministry of reconciliation we have all been called to.
I am so thankful for the switch up my life has taken over the past six months. Getting out of my last job has been really helpful. Taking time off of vocational ministry has really allowed for me to walk through a selfish time to focus on myself. I love the community of people God has placed in my life. I am forming wonderful relationships with girls around me. My theology is solidifying after a couple of years of confusion. I feel content for the first time….maybe everJ The road ahead is still long. Sin is still begging me to return. I am humbly thankful for the past providence in my life and living forward in bold faith.