To have my cake and eat it too.

There are days when I feel like my dreams and hopes are too big and so far off.  How will they all come together?  Why is it that I am such a dreamer and an idealist?  Why do I desire and want the unreasonable?  Or is it unreasonable?  Why do I sit and try to plan out every single detail of every single dream and aspiration and then align every detail together.  To me it feels like a confusing math equation.

As I have been spending time with Jesus lately he has spoken a word to me that I am going to cling to during this what I like to call “awkward stage” of life.  I am a very visual/sensing person.  God speaks to me through dreams, nature and the every day events and words around me.  Two days ago as I was meditating and listening a gust of wind picked up and blew the pages of my journal one by one ever so slightly.  It was beautiful and God’s words of peace came to me…”I will write your story.”

So as I sit here to figure out this equation I might as well stop and trust while activly pursuing my Savior.

AND….That’s hard for me for some reason right now??????

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “To have my cake and eat it too.

  1. Monica

    i love that you are a planner marbes and i love that you are detail oriented and always in control. i can count on you for that. that’s why it’s hard for you to let God write the story. we all want to be the authors. i love being the author. i have yet relinquished my pen… so i completely understand

  2. Mom

    I love the insight that you have… I loved reading about the part of letting God write your story. That is sooooooo hard to do.

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